Английский юмор

An easy solution

   On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, "I'm blonde; I'm beautiful; I'm going to New York; and I'm not moving." Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman, asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde; I'm beautiful; I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving." The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this." He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't someone just say so?" Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York."

A definition of God

   A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy's mind, sat him and said: "God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white." To which the child responded, "Well, then is God Michael Jackson?"

The WORK virus

    There is a new virus. The code name is WORK.

If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, or from anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances.

This virus wipes out your private life completely.

If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take five friends and go straight to the nearest bar. Order drinks immediately and after three rounds, you will find that WORK has been completely deleted from your system.

Forward this virus warning immediately to at least five friends.

Should you realize you do not have five friends, this means you are already infected by this virus and WORK already controls your life.

If this is the case, go to the bar and stay until you make at least five friends.

I think I have five friends, but am not entirely positive so I'm headed for the bar anyway...it never hurts to be safe.

THANK GOODNESS I GOT THIS IN TIME!